Approval
by Fruipit
Summary: She's never needed their approval before. What's so different now? Taangst, slight Zutara, mentioned Sukka.
1. Unequal

She doesn't normally like her hair being down, but this time, Toph makes an exception. It is, after all, a very important celebration; it's not often that the rulers of two nations get together to form a peace pact (at least, it hasn't occurred in the last one hundred years), and everyone must be on their best behaviour.

Toph doesn't mind, because she's a little older, a little wiser; Toph doesn't mind letting her hair down, because Katara says it looks lovely like that, and the blind girl wants to believe her. Even if the waterbender's heart gives no indication of deceit, Toph is still cautious. It feels strange, least of all because she has a dress to go with it (a gorgeous forest green that accentuates her mint-jade eyes) and Toph _never_ wears dresses.

All those years ago (half a decade, give or take), she didn't need anyone's approval. She would be lying to herself if she said she didn't dream about it occasionally; being normal, that is. Seeking and wanting and needing someone else. Of course, her dream is a reality, but one she can't afford. Thus, Toph lies to herself, too, telling her heart that it doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

Katara has already finished getting ready, and she wonders why the blind girl agreed to let her help. She glances at Toph, who seems to be stuck. She has just finished brushing her hair (a surprise that Katara didn't comment on), and seemed to be wondering what to do with it next. Perhaps she just needs a little push; regardless, whether or not she wants one, a little push is what she is given.

"You have so many gorgeous clips, Toph!" she gushes, picking each of them up in turn, handling them like a fragile jewel. "Can I put one in your hair?"

Toph's stomach does backflips to the heavy beat of her heart; she silently curses herself, demanding her body behave itself. It's with a jerky nod (that is _not_ missed by Katara, although it also isn't mentioned) that Toph gives her assent, running her petite fingers over them before choosing one she deems appropriate. It is the one Katara would have chosen, and she wonders how different the two truly are.

"Are you guys nearly done?" There is a whine from outside, and Toph jumps in surprise. She had forgotten the boys were waiting for her- _them_. She bites her lip as her thoughts turn to the monk, probably wearing the same soft silks as he always does. Although she would never tell anyone, Toph sometimes dreamt of those same silks being cast aside as she reaches up to touch the monk. It is those thoughts, and thoughts like it, that cause Toph to wake in the night, panting heavily with something other than terror. It is the simple craving the quickly turns into a sinful one and has her pale skin burning, even hours later. She jumps again as Sokka raps on the door, another complaint on his lips.

"Hurry up, Zuko is getting antsy and it's making the room too hot! And Aang's just sitting here with a stupid grin on his face!" It is Katara's turn to bite her lip, and she knows Toph can see her heart run a million miles at the Fire Lord's name. She isn't aware of her friend's roaming thoughts, although she certainly knows the reason Toph's breath has suddenly become a little shallower, a little faster at Sokka's words.

"There!" she says, happy with her handy work. Toph's bangs are brushed over her eyes, showing the barest hint of the soft green eye-shadow the blind girl allowed on her face. Her lips, painted the softest shade of pink, were pressed into a tight line (but not anxious, no, never! Katara couldn't help but wonder at the blind girl, in all her mystery) below her button nose. She looked, in one word, beautiful. In three; very un-Toph-like. "You look gorgeous," she adds. "Ready to steal the spotlight?" Katara grins easily, not missing the way her friend's eyes widen, or the way the tiny smile appears at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah," she replies after a moment, allowing her heart the chance to beat a little lighter, a little faster at the thought.

"All right, we're coming out now!" Katara calls. Toph feels the boys all stand up and straighten their own clothes, which have presumably crumpled as they sagged in their seats, bored. Katara leaves the room first, only to be greeted with collective gasps and a raspy, "Spirits, Katara," from the resident firebender. Toph feels the heartbeats in the room gain significant speed (the heartbeats of two people in particular), and she wonders–more to keep her mind from her own grand entrance mere moments away–how they were still breathing, and not making out already. She isn't even in the room and she can feel the sexual tension.

"Coming, Toph?" She hears her name, and takes a breath. Stepping through the door, Toph is met only with silence.

Her own heartbeat fills her senses, and the air she has just swallowed has all but disappeared from her lungs. The seconds seem to drag on, and she resists the urge to fiddle with the soft lace that hangs down her dress, Finally, she gets a response.

A snort erupts from somewhere in front of her, and she knows it is Sokka. Within seconds, he is joined by Aang and Zuko as they laugh. Her heart sinks to the very earth she commands, but it is not the laughter that gets her, that undoes her completely. From amidst the chuckles and guffaws, she hears one, simple sentence, from the one person she had hoped wouldn't laugh. The one person she dressed up for. The only person from which she _needed_ approval.

"Toph? Since when do you look like a girl?!" the Avatar spills from between snickers.

Oh, she wants to follow her heart into the ground at the words, but that's not what she does. Even so, her body completely defies her wishes as it does the one thing she swore never to do; she runs.

She pushes past them, the soft way Katara utters her name scratching at her already torn heart. She runs fast, escaping before she can hear Katara yell at her friends- were they friends? Did friends laugh at each other, laugh like that?

Perhaps that is what stings the most. She knows Katara is pretty; the reactions of the boys proved that. How ugly must she be? Her mother had told her the story of the ugly turtleduckling, how it had grown into a creature more beautiful than any other. She couldn't be it; not when she has grown and grown and yet not transformed, as it did. Katara was like a flower in bloom; next to the waterbender, Toph was barely a bud. Toph couldn't help but question that, too.

Perhaps she wasn't even a flower at all.

* * *

A/N: NEED TO GET INTO TAANG. Roca dos has given me a prompt and I'm looking for inspiration for it (although the prompt isn't angsty. AT ALL. damn). Taangst has always been easy for me, you know, the whole 'Katara' thing *shrugs*. If anyone has an angsty prompt for me, lemme know. Just a little scene or something.

THIS STORY MIGHT BE CONTINUED.

idk let's see what the muses say.


	2. Reactions

Katara can't help but blush as she steps out of the bedroom–the _girls_ bedroom, the one that Toph doesn't seem to have a problem with sharing, despite her arguments of independence and "I don't need a sleeping buddy!"–and the shy grin positively erupts at Zuko's breathy sigh of her name. She bites her inner lip, inside her cheek in a pathetic attempt not to allow it to take over her face. Stepping forward–hands _accidentally_ brushing against Zuko's (he pretends not to shudder. She pretends not to see it)–Katara calls out to Toph. It takes a few seconds, but the blind girl emerges from within the bedroom to stand nervously in front of them.

Perhaps the boys don't notice, but Katara can tell she's nervous; she _is_ a girl, after all, and girls are attuned to that sort of things in others of their species. She can read it in the slight knot of the Toph's eyebrows, the tenseness of her back; Katara knows, because even though she can be pretty blind (ironically, when compared to the blind girl), she knows of feelings that allude to 'slightly-more-than-friends', but still beneath the 'I-wonder-if-he-likes-me' stage. She knows that Toph feels them, towards a certain airbending monk. And, she knows Toph is aware of them.

Katara has thought on the subject before; Toph isn't like other girls, no, but she _is_ a girl. That fact is undeniable, and available for all to see. It's not just the physical attributes, things like her silky hair and soft face. It's not the fact that she has recently begun developing in areas that only females grow (albeit certainly later than Katara), or the definite femininity in her voice an actions, no matter how much she tries to hide it sometimes. There are other parts of Toph that scream 'female', from the raging mood swings to the friendship she gives. The things that only an outsider would be able to see. If anyone were to explain it to Toph, she would likely punch them and demand to know how she could change 'back' to her original self. Katara smiles; Toph isn't changing _into_ anyone. She's just changing.

The smile falls as a sound erupts from Sokka, encouraging the other two boys to let loose their own opinions on Toph's new attire. Katara is too busy watching her friend hopelessly, seeing the dreams (ones deemed by the both of them to be perfectly realistic) come crashing around her as Aang utters the fateful words.

"Toph? Since when do you look like girl?!"

If Katara's heart is breaking, she can't even _begin_ to imagine how Toph feels. The girl who has never been seen as one. The girl not nearly as graceful or petite as others, but still, at the core, a _girl_.

The boys are too busy laughing, giggling; they don't see the look on Toph's face as she pushes through them. Katara whispers her name, and while Toph stumbles, she doesn't stop. It's only when the waterbender hears the front door slam shut that she rounds on the boys. Enraged doesn't even begin to cover her mood. It takes about eight seconds and a water whip to shut the boys up. It only takes eight words to cut each of them to the core.

"You laughed at her for being a girl."

The disappointment is _dripping_ from Katara, and even she is amazed she hasn't begun crying yet. She allows them to stew in their shame; no one is in the mood to party anymore.

There are no words to explain how guilty each of them feel; all for different reasons.

Sokka is sad because Toph is his friend; he knows he hurt her feelings (although he also knows that his justification–_I didn't realise she cared so much!_–is not the best thing to tell the irate waterbender). He knows that, should he attempt to apologise, he will only hurt Toph more; instead, he must wallow in his guilt.

Zuko is cursing himself, mentally banging his head on the wall. After all he and Toph had shared with each other (their relationship akin to that of a brother and sister), he should have known that she would take this to heart. There is nothing Toph does that she doesn't give one hundred percent. Why should this be any different? He knows that if he apologises, she will refuse to listen (and with good reason), and so he sits contritely in front of Katara as she looks at them sadly.

Aang has stopped listening to the waterbender altogether, but that is more due to the fact that his blood is pounding through his ears and the same memory of Toph's face just _falling _as he began to laugh replays in front of his eyes. Aang doesn't even know why he did it, only that when the first chuckle escaped, he could have sworn he felt Toph's heart stop. Perhaps his own did, too. He rouses himself long enough to hear Katara utter two words.

"A girl."

In the two seconds it takes for her to heave a deep breath–perhaps to continue, or prevent the tears that have been sitting in her eyes from falling–Aang has stood. He realises now, the truth of it. That his heart did falter, because he knew he hurt her. Toph; strong, tough, impenetrable Toph, taken down just like the famed city–from the inside.

Without preface or preamble, without explanation (or even a word), he runs from the small room.

* * *

_A/N: Well, I decided to continue, just because I do have ideas. And yes, that is Zutara you see. Hmm. Even I'm not sure how to feel about that..._

_Also, why is Taang more popular than Tokka?_

_And if you like this story, just have a squizz at _Crassius quam aqua, _my other recent Taangst. I like it more than this, even. As a one-shot._

_Anyway, reviews are appreciated! :3 _


	3. Wandering

Toph isn't quite sure where she is. It's a garden of some kind (or so her nose tells her), and there's a small pond to her left, but other than that, there's no way to identify it. Her naked feet dig blissfully into the dirt, slightly damp from the hour. There is a slight chill in the air, and she can _feel_ the dew beginning to settle on her skin. Her dress is likely ruined, the precious silks destroyed by the mix of cool weather and earthbending.

She does not know it, but the owner of the little garden was dreaming about such an occurrence happening. He will still be surprised in the morning, and probably quite upset. It doesn't matter; Toph will be long gone by then.

But for now, she is content to remain where she is. Her knees are tucked up underneath her chin, hands locked between them and her chest. She wonders, with a head less foggy, less clouded with sadness and–dare she say it–_shame_ at her earlier expectations, what it is about her that garnered such a reaction from them.

Toph knows she is not the prettiest. She knows, in the same way she knows that Zuko is sexy, Sokka handsome, and Aang... she prefers not to think about Aang for the time being. She knows, because she can sense it. The way the boys fawn over Katara, or the girls that sidle up to the male members of their little group.

Toph knows she isn't the most feminine. She has given up the habit of cleaning her toes in public, or picking her nose. Eventually, it became... embarrassing. She could tell her friends disapproved of the behaviour, and while that on its own would not usually be enough to sway her, it made her wonder; it made her embarrassed enough to stop.

She laughs each month as Katara complains of cramps and blood, but each month she also dies a little inside as she wonders when it will happen to her. She remembers when the waterbender's moon cycle first began; they held a celebration for it, after all. She remembered the cold trip to the South Pole, and the warm reception. Hakoda was just as gruff but kind as during the war. The Water Tribe siblings spent an afternoon talking with old friends; Zuko spent it apologising profusely. It left Toph with Aang and Kanna (or Gran-Gran, as she told them–rather firmly–to call her), preparing for the small party. Sokka was proud, Zuko was uncomfortable (although that was nothing new). Aang was just as open about it as Katara, no trace of awkwardness. Toph inquired (rather subtly, in her opinion) about it all. It seemed like such a big deal, and she didn't want yet another thing to separate her from true womanhood.

"Well, we hold celebrations in the temples, too," he told her nasally (his nose was being held shut as he stirred the sea prune stew). "Because Katara can have children of her own now. Only girls can do it. I suppose they celebrate it here because it ensures the continuation of the Tribe, but in the Air Temples it was because it is the circle of life," he explained. "We held celebrations every eclipse, because it was the meeting of the sun and the moon. I think they did it for each and every girl in the other temples, but we were only boys, so..." he trailed off here, and Toph didn't ask any more questions.

She wonders when she'll have her own celebration. The events of the night introduce a new question; will it be worth it?

Toph can feel, through the delicate material of her dress, the _visible_ evidence that she is becoming a young woman. The soft mounds of flesh that ache at inappropriate times and tighten the her shirts the barest hint should be more than enough to prove to people that she is a girl, and yet they're just another aspect that is taken for granted. Her hands, trapped against the soft flesh, move of their own accord, gently touching. Her mind brings up long-forgotten memories; her mother, explaining the practical use of a breast to a newborn. Suki's titters as she talks about the unbelievable _pleasure_ brought to her by Sokka's hands, his lips, his breath ghosting across the sensitive flesh.

Toph shudders at the very thought of it, although she can't yet identify the reason. Perhaps it has something to do with the way her own chest has begun to tingle. Her head resting on her knees, Toph's mind slowly empties. Her breathing becomes light and soft, and suddenly she pulls her hands away with a gasp.

It is not the realisation of what she is feeling that breaks the spell, nor the vibrations of any person near. Toph pulls away because, for the barest, briefest second, the thought of Aang crossed her mind, replacing her hands with his and continuing the sensations.

These thoughts are not new, although they _are_ unwanted. She wonders why she has them, and whether it is natural. Katara has never complained of it happening to her, although Toph hears sometimes, in the deep hours of the night, Katara's own dreams as the girl mumbles and moans in her sleep. It doesn't help that she knows Zuko has similar dreams; when Katara is in the room, it is all the firebender can see.

Toph stands from the garden, and begins making her way back to the house with a heavy heart. What of Aang?

She may be blind, but she can see him. Does he see her?

* * *

_A/N: Hey. So, yeah, no idea where this story is going at all. There *will* be romance. It's coming. The next chapter will be from Aang's perspective, because we've gotten nothing from him yet._

_Thanks for your thoughts on Taang. I received a very long PM from Kamon that I still need to reply to. But, I also want your thoughts on *this* story ;P_

_Thanks for the reviews, follows and faves :) And for those of you who are reading 'Drive-ins', it's coming. I promise._


	4. Depths

Aang is running through lower Ba Sing Se. He knows Toph, better than anyone else, and through personal experience he knows that she likes to drown out her problems with strong alcohol and weak opponents.

He searches for half an hour before a sudden thought halts him in his tracks. He has seen a new side to Toph tonight; one that must always have been there, but had been kept hidden. Who was to say that she had other hidden depths that he did not know about?

The realisation jolts him, and swaying slightly he sits down on the footpath like so many other drunks he's passed that night. His mind drifts back to earlier, and the strain on his heart tightens further. Guilt claws at his stomach to grab at the frantic organ in his chest, squeezing it. Even his lungs seem to be affected, and with all the air in the world he can't get them to inflate properly.

His whole body has turned against him as he fights the tears that are building up.

He _hurt_ her.

_He_ hurt _her_.

_Her_! Toph. The wussy airbender hurt the tough earthbender, and he doesn't know how to make it better.

Aang doesn't know why he laughed. Perhaps it was shock. The strangeness of seeing Toph in a dress, and the difficulty he had in reconciling the image of the girl in front of him with the girl he sparred with; the girl who taught him.

The guilt burbled like bile in his belly as Aang recalled, mere hours earlier, the idea to bet on the prettiest girl; they hadn't because Sokka refused such a wager when his sister was involved, and–Aang felt like throwing up at the thought–no one wanted to bet on Toph.

He lets out a small, choked cough at the memory.

It was true that when Katara appeared, she looked gorgeous and dazzling, with a light pink blush coating her cheeks and thick, red lipstick on. Aang heard Zuko's breathy sigh and couldn't help but agree. Katara looked... beautiful. And then Toph appeared.

The blind girl was wearing the barest hint of make-up–a soft green above her eyes and a delicate pink on her lips. Unlike Katara's own intricate up-do, her hair was loose and pulled back by what must have been a small clip. Aang wondered if she realised she was biting the inside of her mouth, and the small curves that appeared in her dress made the airbender think very un-monkish thoughts, pertaining in particular to the removal of said clothes.

Perhaps that was why he laughed; Toph, in all her tomboyish roughness, was still a girl. He wondered why he never noticed it before, before realising that Toph had never shown it.

And he laughed because of it, not thinking. There was a reason Toph never showed it, and that would be why; because she was met with laughter.

Aang rouses himself from his thoughts as he realises a tear has slipped down his cheek. He wants to find Toph and tell her exactly what he was thinking the moment she stepped from the room, but he doesn't want her to reject him, as he knows she will. After his earlier actions, he doesn't blame her.

It has been almost forty-five minutes, and while there is still much of the city to look through, Aang knows that if Toph doesn't want to be found, there is nothing that he can do to find her.

The foreign urge to give his brash teacher a warm hug overwhelms him, and Aang stumbles slightly as he begins making his way home. He needs her to know that he regrets his actions, his words. He needs her to forgive him.

He needs her.


	5. Rips

They are all of them waiting. Sokka is asleep (and has been for some time), while Katara and Zuko wait on the couch, taking turns to prepare pots of tea to share. It has been hours, and yet still Aang and Toph have not returned. The old adage, 'no news is good news', runs through the minds of the remaining benders, however it does nothing to quell their uneasiness.

There is no conversation; nothing that might prevent the onset of drowsiness, followed by sleep. Katara is feeling the effects, and from the way Zuko is swaying slightly in his seat, so is he. The waterbender allows a small smile to appear on her face as Zuko gives up trying to stay awake, mumbling a quiet, "Wake me when they get home", that actually sounded more like, "Wayme gome", to Katara. She levels a glare that quickly softens as he nods off, his head landing gently on her shoulder. Katara cannot help but notice that he doesn't smell at all like the smoke and ash she thought he would; rather, he has the warm smell of a field of flowers on a hot summers' day. His body isn't feverishly warm the way she expected it to be, but rather like the dying embers of a fire, low and subdued. All in all, the only reason Katara would have to complain was over the fact that it took no time at all for him to fall asleep while their friends were still roaming the streets of the biggest city in the world.

She cannot suppress the blush when she realises that, despite Aang and Toph having disappeared, Zuko was still able to fall asleep on her.

Katara lifts her arm up slowly to rest atop his shaggy hair. She had told him once that it looked much better down, and now she barely ever saw it up unless he was on official business. Tonight he had put it in the customary top-knot, decorated with the Fire Nation royal headpiece, however as their plans fell down, he had taken the piece of metal out and let his hair hang loose.

Katara runs her fingers through the silky tresses, carefully untangling the tiny knots that are beginning to form. It is incredibly soothing, and soon she finds herself drifting towards sleep. There is no urge to move as she allows Zuko's deep breathing to calm her further...

...only to be pulled out of her doze by an extremely loud _BANG!_ that resonates from one end of the building to the other. Katara jolts up, although miraculously neither Zuko nor Sokka seem to have heard the noise. Rubbing her eyes, Katara regretfully extricates herself from the firebender as she stumbles slightly towards the door. She isn't afraid of a thief or a burglar, although call it 'women's intuition' but she doesn't believe the guest is either of those.

She cannot see anyone or anything, but the feeling in the back of her head refuses to go away. Shooting the still-sleeping boys a look, Katara retreats into the girls bedroom, quickly throwing on an overshirt and collecting her waterskin from its place on the vanity. Not that it would serve the master waterbender well when she was practically rooted to the spot as the cause of the noise stumbles haphazardly into the room, a half-bottle of vodka spilling the remains of its contents on the floor.

Katara can barely recognise Toph from the girl who had fled only a few short hours previous; she can feel her heart breaking at the sight of Toph's sorry appearance, although it's nothing compared to the shock that erupts as, with a final swig of the strong liquor, Toph grabs a handful of the silk and just _rips_ it. It almost manages to distract Katara from the tears that have begun to fall anew, marking tracks in the blind girl's muddy face, but even as the waterbender attempts to approach her friend, she is pushed away with a feral snarl. There is another rip as Toph's left arm is wrenched from the sleeve, and while the sound makes Katara wilt a little, it seems only to fuel Toph's desire to be free of the restricting thing. Katara watches helplessly as the blind girl attempts to step free of the fabric, only to misjudge her position and tip forward, landing heavily on the floor. In the following seconds, no one moves. Toph utters not a single noise, and Katara is lost between her desire to help and her desire to give Toph the space she likely needs in order to calm down.

Katara watches as Toph slowly sits up, her bottom lip quivering as she attempts to hold back the rush of emotions that threaten to consume her. Neither speak and neither move as the seconds drag on; unexpectedly, Toph is the one to break their stalemate. With glassy eyes, covered in a film of salty tears, she looks towards the waterbender. Their voices remain unused, however Katara understands what the other girl needs, likely better than if Toph had tried to explain it.

Sitting in front of the younger girl, Katara doesn't even bother looking her over; she just pulls the blind girl into a tight hug that she hopes will be enough.

From the shakes that begin small but build into something bigger, Katara knows it's working. Toph latches onto her upper arms with all the strength of an earthbender, but inside she's breaking.

Inside, she's broken.


	6. Realise

He gets back home late. The first few rays of sunlight are peeking over the rooftops as he stumbles home, tired and distraught, but the cheerful colours do nothing to lift his mood.

He couldn't find her.

Bypassing the lounge room, a sleeping Sokka and Zuko snoring gently on the couch, he makes his way to his room. It is sparse, like the nomad himself, but still homey with the scent of sandalwood incense and the sky bison fur blanket that he wraps himself into each night.

Aang falls onto his bed, finally feeling the tears he has refused for hours. He made her run away, and he lost her. For all he knows, she's out on the dangerous streets of Ba Sing Se, still angry at him.

His head in his hands, Aang lets the emotion out, slowly at first before it begins to build momentum. He hiccups slightly as he tries to get himself under control, but to no avail. He at least manages to stifle the worst of them, silently weeping in his bed. He realises that he needs someone to comfort him–as he always has. He needs someone to tell him it'll be okay.

It's strange, and he would have mused on it had he been in a calmer state of mind, but Aang knows that Toph never tells him, "It's going to be okay". She never sugar-coats her words, or says something she doesn't mean. Toph will punch him on the shoulder and tell him to harden up, reserving hugs and soft words for only the worst of occasions. She doesn't give those things freely, making them all the more valuable when she does.

Aang needs Katara to comfort him; he needs that motherly, big-sister side of her that he has cherished all these years. Of course, he needs to know Toph is okay; what better way than by asking the woman who _would_ lie to him to preserve his feelings.

Slowly wiping the tears from his face, collecting water from the air to wash away the stickiness they have left behind, he is struck with a thought. Surely Katara would have waited up for Toph? It's obvious the two elder boys tried (and failed) to remain awake and waiting; where is Katara?

Swallowing his apprehension, he has enough self-awareness to realise, and address, the fact that he does not feel quite so worried about the waterbender; he doesn't feel quite so scared or stressed for her. Oh, that's not to say that he doesn't _care_ about her; he just cares _less_.

Letting out a small choke at the thought, he freezes in place. He's the Avatar; he shouldn't be thinking like that. Everyone–and everything–is equal, from the bugs Momo ate for dinner to the giant lion turtle. From the lowliest beggar to the highest prince, no one person was any more important that another...

...so why had the thought crossed his mind? Why did the smile of Toph Beifong trigger his? Shouldn't Katara's have the same effect? How could he preach equality when he allowed one friend to be 'ranked' above another?

The urge to see the waterbender struck, and it struck hard. He needed her advice–she was a girl, after all–and she needed her comfort. She would know what to do to help him.

Raising himself from his bed, Aang made his way down the hallway towards the girls room. Perhaps Katara had retreated there to wait for Toph? Quietly sliding open the door, in his wildest dreams, Aang never expected Toph to be lying next to her, fast asleep.

Aang never really saw Toph asleep before. She would always stay hidden away in her own tent during their travels, and even in Ba Sing Se, Katara would be the one to wake her up (for the waterbender was the only one able to get away with it unscathed). Looking her his best friend, her features softened as she lay curled into Katara, Aang suddenly had no problems seeing her as his Sifu, as the rough-and-tumble girl she was a week ago; he had no problems seeing her as the woman of only a few _hours_ previous.

Backing out of the room, he realises he doesn't need to talk to Katara. Toph is home safe, and that is all he cares about. Returning to his own room, Aang lays down in bed in the hopes of getting a few hours of rest before everyone wakes him up. He is dangling in the fragile precipice between sleep and consciousness when he has one heart-sinking thought;

Why has it taken him so long to notice?


	7. Language

Everyone is walking on eggshells. Toph thinks she might just throw up from it all (although that could be the hangover). Even Sokka is wary of upsetting her, although she isn't really surprised. In all honesty, she's fairly repulsed by her own behaviour, although there's nothing she can do to change it now. Only Katara is acting normal; while Toph usually hates the waterbender's general chirpiness and irritatingly good mood, she can't help but appreciate the attitude this morning. When the mood becomes too tense, Katara is there forcing the boys to clean something, or run an errand—anything to leave Toph alone while still getting work done. Toph is desperate to prove that she hasn't changed; that may be true (after all, the feminine side of her had always been there, lurking), however it seems that despite her best efforts, the boys' _perception_ of her has changed.

So, she is loud and brash and rude and begins picking her toenails again and making fun of Sokka's slow reaction times in regards to blind jokes. It works on him and Zuko; Toph can put it down to several reasons: Zuko has the hots for Katara and Sokka knows better than to annoy her. Aang, however, seems impervious to Katara's hassling. He doesn't actually do anything—unless hovering and being generally awkward counts. He is being Aang, essentially, however Toph has always had a superb ability of making him act like Not-Aang. Why does it have to be different now? She can't stand it. She wants things to go back to the way they were before... well, before everything changed.

So, she retreats outside, the brightness of the sun mimicked on her face, but shadowed in her heart.

She doesn't want to talk to anyone, and they all take heed. Even Aang is cautious to approach her. She thinks it's absolutely pathetic how much she wants him to. She wants to spar and trade insults the way they used to. She wants to rile up Katara and annoy Sokka, but she wants _more_ than that. In that little secret part of her heart that Aang has somehow infiltrated, she wants to be able to giggle and smile and be a girl.

She groans aloud as she realises just how screwed up she is.

Because she _is_ screwed up.

She's the strongest, greatest, most badass earthbender in the world.

She's the Avatar's teacher.

She's the Earth Rumble champion.

But... she's a noblewoman.

She's high-society born and bred.

She's a girl.

How is she supposed to fit into all those different categories? Why can't she be all of them? Where is the line drawn? Well, perhaps not the 'high-society' part, but that's beside the point. Why can't she just be... her?

She's sitting on the grass at this point, angrily pulling out little tufts of the stuff. The sun goes behind a cloud for a moment, and she looks to the sky as though searching for its return. She wonders for a moment what the sun looks like. Is it as beautiful as she imagines? No one ever talks about the sun. They don't talk much about the normal things. Katara gushes about flowers sometimes, and Sokka is always blabbing on about some kind of fashion. Aang...

Aang never talks about that with her. He never uses sight.

He always talks with touch and sound and smell.

He always speaks her language.


End file.
